Lunchbox Exhaustion

A child’s lunchbox sitting on the shelf of a fridge. On top of the lunchbox is a handwritten label inside a clear, snaplock sandwich bag reading “ice block”..

School lunchboxes. They look innocent, but really they are evil executive function leeches.

Why?

Firstly, you have to prepare foods to fill them. Many people don’t realise food preparation is a highly executive function loading task. There is a goal – the full lunchbox. To achieve this you need to plan and organise, initiate tasks, keep track of items, sequence the steps, and remember critical information while you use it (like: get an ice-pack out of the freezer and into the lunchbox on hot days).

When you have executive dysfunction like I do, this is exhausting.

Not everyone finds lunchbox prep exhausting. Parenting groups on social media are full of photos of artful lunchboxes. The people don’t seem overwhelmed. They seem to enjoy making lunchboxes, like a game or a hobby. Sometimes, I feel a bit embarrassed about my lunchbox weariness.

Added to that, Neurodivergent kids can have a really hard time with eating. It can be even harder at school. There are food sensitivities and aversions to contend with (I have one crunchy textures kid, and one soft textures kid. DO NOT mix up their lunchbox items). There are motor planning and praxis issues – the lunchbox and foods need to be accessible. No tricky wrappers. No tight lids. Zippers must glide easily. There are interoception issues – if you can’t tune in to your hunger, you won’t know when you need to eat.

I often don’t eat at work. I like to eat when I’m relaxed, not when I’m busy. Work fills my brain with interesting problems, sensory overload, and communication challenges. These things suppress my interoception, so I don’t feel hungry or thirsty.

So my kids’ off-and-on relationship with school lunch makes sense to me.

Here are my Neurodivergent tips for surviving lunch box preparation:

1. Make lunch boxes the night before. Morning you wants to do it even less than night you.

2. Unwrap tricky packaging, and put the foods in easy-to-open containers.

3. Visual cues: the best ones physically or visually block you from leaving home without the lunchbox. We leave school backpacks wide open in front of the door. They don’t get zipped shut in the morning until the lunchboxes are inside. Lunchboxes are ready in the fridge, each with a sign that says “ice block” which gets put back on the kitchen bench after retrieving the ice pack from the freezer. At the end of the day, empty lunchboxes stay in clear view on the bench beside the “ice block“ signs, as a cue to prep them.

4. It is ok for your kids, to eat their same, safe foods every day of school. School is hard enough without food challenges.

5. If you live with someone who does not have executive dysfunction, outsource lunchbox duty to them.

Some days my kids eat their lunchboxes when they get home from school. This is ok. I try and leave a 2 hour gap between that and dinner, so they aren’t full when it’s time for the evening meal.

Do you suffer from lunch box exhaustion?